Serial monogamists are people who can only be with one person at a time. They’re very much monogamous and all about commitment, rather than random flings and casual encounters. They don’t date around, build a roster of conquests, or get off sleeping around with a bunch of random people. The casual nature of romance of relationships just doesn’t sit right with them. It’s not natural for them to be casual when it comes to love. They’re not the types to love halfway, they tend to love all in or not at all. They’re relationship-oriented, and prefer being in a relationship over being single. You could say their natural inclination is to settle down and build a loving, lasting partnership with someone. Obviously being a relationship-oriented person who is full of love, and often knows how to love with great passion, is something that should be admired and sought after. Yet there’s the potential for some negative relationship tendencies and habits that can come from someone who is a serial monogamist. It’s not all good, as someone who focuses so much attention on relationships and falls into them so easily, also may have other issues they’re dealing with below the surface that lead to them being so dependent on love and unable to be without anyone.
#252 - The serial dater, the serial monogamist, and you - Duration: 6:41. Rick Soetebier 49 views. 12 Things You Should Know Before Dating a Serial Monogamist 1. They're not going to break up with you because you had a stupid fight over pizza toppings. Get ready to be one-upped in the gift-giving department. They're not a clinger. The key to making exclusive relationships work for. I was a textbook serial monogamist — I was constantly jumping from relationship to relationship with my longest period of single-dom lasting only two months. This would have been fine except for the fact that each breakup became progressively worse. There is an old joke in the dating world: A man is always in search of a woman who A) cooks like Julia Child and bakes like Betty Crocker, B) is a lady in the streets but a fox behind closed doors, and C) supports and inspires him to pursue his dreams with reckless abandon despite all obstacles and political odds. Perhaps the best thing about dating a serial monogamist is that they’re usually extremely monogamist and relationship-oriented. Well, of course they are, they have the word “serial” before monogamist in their name. Unafraid of commitment, serial monogamists make great, committed partners who will show you exactly why everyone falls for them.
So let’s break down 15 pros and cons of dating a serial monogamist.
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Start Now15 Pro: They Haven’t Been With That Many People
Most serial monogamists don’t sleep around. Partially because they’re rarely single for long enough to even stack up with that many partners, but mostly they just aren’t the types to sleep with someone they don’t know super well. Most serial monogamists only partake in sex if there is a strong emotional or romantic connection. This is why they’re the types who will only sleep with someone they’re seeing or already in a relationship with. So when you date a serial monogamist you know that their number of partners is probably somewhere near the number of people they’ve dated. It’s a nice feeling dating someone, and knowing, they haven’t slept with a ton of people you know or come from some crazy promiscuous past. It allows you to feel special, and have assurance that they must have really strong feelings for you if they do sleep with you, as they don’t sleep with people unless they’re super connected and emotionally tied to them.
14 Con: They’ve Had A Lot Of Nookie With The Few People They’ve Slept With
Now it’s a pro that they haven’t had nookie with that many people, but the negative on the flip side is that they’ve had A LOT of nookie with those few people they’ve slept with. In other words, they’ve probably done some crazy sh*t with those people, which makes those few sexual partners even more of a potential source of insecurity and anxiety for you. It’s not like they met up once drunk after the bar and had some sloppy, forgettable sex. No. They were in love with each other so you know they made love in the type of way that God would be proud of. So while you’re happy that their sex number is something mighty reasonable, you know the quality of those numbers is something that might keep you up at night or create a very awkward encounter if you ever run into one of those “quality” sexual partners in person.
13 Pro: They’re Probably Good At Nookie Because They’ve Had A Lot Of Quality One On One Time
It’s not the quantity of sex that makes you good at it, but the quality of what you’ve had. Sex when you’re single can be awkward and uncomfortable because you’re getting it on with people you don’t know very well. Single people can sleep around a bunch, but change partners so often that there isn’t really much time for feedback, and it becomes more functional sex as opposed to actual mind-blowing quality sex. So serial daters could have a lot of partners, but haven’t really spent enough time learning and discovering their true sexual nature to actually be really good at it. Single person sex with new partners is usually much less uninhibited and you’re more careful about letting loose and giving in to any wild impulses or desires. But when you’re in a relationship and comfortable with someone, it leaves comfort and security to allow yourself to be more uninhibited with your partner and give in to those crazy impulses and desires. In a relationship you have the time and freedom with the same partner to gain a comfort level that allows you both to experiment and discover new sides to your sexual repertoire. In a relationship you may find fantasies you never knew you had or kinks that you feel comfortable sharing. So when you start dating and sleeping with a serial monogamist — while they haven’t had much casual intimacy — they’ve had a lot of quality sex and likely are going to be good at it and have a decent idea of what does and doesn’t turn them on through their years of being in a relationship.
12 Con: Probably Have A Lot Of Exes
A serial monogamist probably has a lot of exes. That means a lot of people for you to run into who’ve been in love and had a serious relationship with the object of your affection. And lets not forget that quality. So if you’re a jealous or insecure person it might be difficult to deal with running into people they’ve seriously dated when you’re out at parties or other random social events that you may cross paths with. Also those exes may carry more weight and be from super serious relationships considering serial monogamists aren’t the relationship types to do love halfway. So you may be dealing with the situation where there are people from their past popping up at random points, whether through conversation, running into them at social events, or even potentially dealing with them having some degree of contact now and again (which they shouldn’t obviously). Just for the fact that they’re a relationship-oriented person, it means they probably have a more stacked relationship past that included some serious situations that just didn’t work out for whatever reason, so you have to make sure you’re okay dealing with that.
11 Pro: They’re Monogamous And Relationship-Oriented
Perhaps the best thing about dating a serial monogamist is that they’re usually extremely monogamist and relationship-oriented. Well, of course they are, they have the word “serial” before monogamist in their name. Unafraid of commitment, serial monogamists make great, committed partners who will show you exactly why everyone falls for them. Perhaps the reason they fall into so many relationships is because they’re so irresistible to the opposite sex and breed relationship material? Well they aren’t just bona ride relationship material, they’re bona fide marriage material. You meet a serial monogamist and can just tell by talking with them that they take love seriously and love being in relationships. So often in the dating world you will find so many guys who are afraid of commitment and just want to fool around with a whole bunch of casual unions, but not for the serial monogamists out there — they want to find one person and build something together. So if you’re looking to seriously meet someone, a serial monogamist is a great choice because they possess so many qualities, naturally, that make them great companions and life partners.
10 Con: Rely On Relationships Too Much
Now, on the negative side of being born and bred relationship material is that they usually rely on relationships too much. Serial monogamists love being in relationships so much that they’re hardly ever not in one. The downfall here is that they haven’t spent enough alone time to really discover themselves and harness their true independence. They only know who they are as a couple, not as an individual. This dependency on love and relationships is not healthy as it leads to the serial monogamist only knowing their true value and worth when it feels mirrored by someone else’s love and affection toward them. This is a very unhealthy way to feel value and self-esteem as it means their worth will live and die with a relationship. It also means they’re more likely to remain in a toxic or bad relationship because they’re afraid to be alone, which is obviously going to effect their confidence if they aren’t treated well within that relationship. Bottom line: while it’s an attractive quality to be someone who’s well suited for relationships, you never want to be so dependent on them that you can’t be alone or are willing to stay in something that’s not great because you’d rather have someone than no one.
9 Pro: Lots Of Relationship Experience
Most serial monogamists have a lot of relationship experience. And serious relationship experience at that. They probably have at least one several year relationship throughout their 20’s that instilled them valuable skills that they can now apply to their next relationship. They’re also the types who are usually quite flexible and accommodating in relationships because of all the time they’ve spent being with someone. For people who are chronically single and fiercely independent, it can be harder to be in relationships because they’re extremely fixed in their lifestyle patterns and find that being in a relationship and spending so much time co-existing with someone else just disrupts their preferred way of living. But a serial monogamist on the other hand, they’re often in so many relationships because of how flexible and accommodating there are to other people. They’re supportive of other people and are more natural at co-existing and sharing with someone else. This tendency, comes both through learned experiences, as well as their natural inclination to be part of a partnership.
8 Con: Potentially Not Independent
Another major downfall of a serial monogamist is the possibility for them to possess a serious lack of independence. For the fact they rely so heavily on relationships and have a hard time being alone, it means there’s a good chance they’re the type of person who’s dependent on other people. While being too independent and never relying on someone is not a good thing, not being independent at all is not a good thing either. The serial monogamist is more likely to get into a relationship and sabotage their self-identity within the relationship in order to appease the other person and overall relationship. It’s hard to be in a healthy relationship when you’re so quick to let go of your independence and the parts of yourself that were very important to you when you were single. It means they will potentially stay in something that doesn’t suit them longer and self-sacrifice because they’re willing to change things about themselves in order to make it work with someone that’s not best suited for them to begin with. If you want to be able to really contribute to a relationship and love in a healthy way, you need be strong enough to hold onto your independence and meet your partner in the middle, rather than letting go of everything that makes you, you.
7 Pro: They’re Usually Hopeless Romantics
A lot of serial monogamists are the hopeless romantic relationship type. This means they’re going to be the type of lovers who love deeply, and with a lot of passion. For the fact they probably have a pretty idealistic outlook on love, they’re optimistic and fun people to be in a relationship with because they make love a lot of fun. If you’re the hopeless romantic type as well, a serial monogamist is probably someone who you will see love the same way as, and as a result, be able to love at the same level you do, which will make for a very passionate and powerful partnership. You could say that serial monogamists are also the type to be more affected by love — they love deeper when they fall in love, and they get hurt deeper when they get rejected or burned by love. So, this is both a good and bad thing. But generally speaking, when it comes to love, being a hopeless romantic is something that should be considered a major positive. You know that if you’re the object of a hopeless romantic’s affection, you are going to be getting spoiled with the type of passionate love that books are written about, so you better enjoy just how lucky you are to have that.
6 Con: Haven’t Figured Out Bad Relationship Patterns
For the fact that a serial monogamist hasn’t spent a considerable amount of time alone, they may not be privy to their toxic relationship patterns. They get into new relationships so quickly after going through a breakup that they don’t allow themselves enough time to reassess and figure out what they learned from one relationship to the next. They leave no time for self-evaluation and potentially keep repeating their mistakes, as they continue to get into the same type of relationships with the same type of people. They rely heavily on love to survive and feel whole, so they may continue to welcome unhealthy love into their life because it makes them feel better in the present moment, while in turn sacrificing what they might need and might be best for them in the long-term. It can be toxic getting involved with someone who hasn’t done their work and assessed common relationship patterns, as it’s hard to know if they’re with you because there are things about you that they feel are a good compliment to who they are, versus being with you just because they need you and are addicted to love. A serial monogamist is the type who could potentially be reckless with your heart and love irresponsibly because they want love so bad, that they’re willing to push a square peg into a round hole if it means they get to hold on longer and have the love they desperately desire in their life.
Dating A Serial Monogamist Look
5 Pro: Often Very Genuine And Loving People
Serial monogamists are generally warm, genuine, relationship-oriented people. They love love. This means they tend to be warm, open hearted people, who are optimistic and really good to be around. They live and breathe love, and you could say that they’re full of love as well. There is a reason why they’re always in a relationship — yes, they get into relationships rather easily, but you also have to be a certain type of way for that many people to fall for you and want to be in a relationship with you. /free-bold-fonts-download.html. Their natural instinct is to be with someone and build a partnership. For so many people who are always single, they may have a hard time opening themselves up to a relationship. They’ve become so selfish with their patterns over the years, even afraid of commitment, but at the same time desperately wanting it. While most serial monogamists have such an easy time being open, putting their heart on the line, and giving love a chance. This is a high risk way to be, and serial monogamists experience both many highs and lows because of being this way, but it also makes them extremely warm, accepting, friendly, and genuine, which are all traits to be admired in a person.
4 Con: You Wonder If It’s You Or The Idea Of You That They Love
A serial monogamist gets into relationships so often, and they don’t take the necessary time after one relationship ends to figure out what they better need for the next relationship, that it always makes you wonder if it’s actually YOU that they’re in love with or the IDEA of you. When you date someone that gets into relationships so often and so easily, you wonder if this is just a process that they’re accustomed to, rather than you being some sort of special outlier that managed to catch their eye and get them because you’re YOU. The truth is that you want to be undeniable to someone. It’s hard to feel undeniable to a serial monogamist as a part of you feels insecure because of their habits and tendencies when it comes to relationships. You feel that as soon as you break up, they will be with someone else so quickly because they can’t live without that feeling of love. When you date someone who you know thrives on love, it’s scary and can lead to a lot of insecurity because you feel that you were just at the right place, at the right time, to catch this person’s eye.
3 Con: They Will Move On Quickly If You Break Up
Now, one of the major downfalls of dating a serial monogamist is that they usually move on after a breakup faster than the other person. For the fact they don’t tend to go long without a relationship, within a few months after one relationship ends they’re often already seeing someone else. Remember, serial monogamists are easy to like, they have so many attractive relationship qualities, and they don’t tend to like being single for very long. The difficult thing here is that you know while you’re busy mourning them, they’re probably going to be hiding their pain of losing you by filling themselves up with the love of someone else. So, it’s actually not so much that a serial monogamist will move on faster, it’s just that they have the unique ability to love before they’re ready. It’s most often because that’s what they know, it’s what they’ve always done in the past. When they’re feeling low, they take a hit of the love drug until they start to feel better. So just be prepared that when you get involved with a serial monogamist — if and when you do break up — you’re going to have to watch them parade around with other people on social media right in front of you.
2 Con: More Likely To Stay In A Bad Relationship
A serial monogamist is more likely to put up with a bad or average relationship because they’re fiercely loyal and don’t like being alone. It’s admirable of how loyal they’re to their partners, but a major detriment to that is that they will stay with someone whom they have a long history with because they don’t want to hurt the other person and for loyalty reasons. Also, for the reason that a serial monogamist gets into relationships faster than the average person, they’re more inclined to get attached to someone who maybe isn’t the best person for them. Without adequate screening time and a lengthy “getting to know each other” period, they start to develop strong feelings for some of the wrong people who aren’t the best matches for them. A serial monogamist wants love to work out so badly that they might continue to try and make it work with someone who they should probably be walking away from.
1 Pro/Con: They Start And Form Relationships Easily
Serial Monogamist Characteristics
On the positive side: serial monogamists are very open to love. They fall for people quickly. And people fall for them quickly. They’re so loveable and have so much love to give. They tend to get swept up in love and the early novel feelings of romance. They’re the types to be addicted to that early honeymoon drug. On the negative side: they rush into relationships. These means they may get involved before they’re ready, get involved with the wrong people, and move too fast. Serial monogamists are also the type who can be flakey in love, jumping in and out of relationships with the drop of the hat. For the reason they’re so addicted to love — when one relationship becomes stale their eye can begin to wander to new people that seem more romantic and exciting. I’ve always said that when a serial monogamist leaves a relationship, it’s like they’re a car merging off the highway. They never come to a full stop (single), they just slow down enough to enter into another relationship. While it’s admirable how open to love a serial monogamist is, it can be hard to trust them because their heart can overpower their head (rational mind) and get them involved in situations that they’re going to try and break out of later on.